Allegiance Health

When you are used to doing things for yourself, you might find it hard to ask for help. It may seem more natural for you to take care of others than to let others take care of you. But a cancer diagnosis tends to change roles—at least for a while. 

An important part of your recovery is keeping up your strength and getting the rest your body needs to heal. For that, you’re going to need the support of trusted friends or family members. You’re going to need a team. According to the American Cancer Society, having a support team can help you feel less anxious and depressed and can improve your quality of life as you go through cancer treatment. 

Some cancer survivors suggest that you only tell a few trusted people when you first get your diagnosis. This will give you a chance to get your thoughts together and will help keep you from getting swamped with phone calls you don’t feel like taking just yet. When you are ready to share the news with more people, it may help to choose a “point person” who can call or email others with updates on your care. You might also consider creating a Web page that will keep friends informed. It’s easy and free to do that through such organizations as Caring Bridge. 

When building your support team, think about what help means to you. Do you want someone to take you to your doctor appointments and treatments? It can be very helpful to have another set of ears when you are feeling overwhelmed. A supportive person can also help you remember symptoms you’ve had or questions you want to ask your doctor.

Maybe you want help with daily tasks like cooking, laundry and paying bills. You may need someone to help with personal care, like washing your hair or giving you a backrub. And you might want someone who can make you laugh or just divert your attention from your cancer, if even for a short time. The following link is geared for women with breast cancer, but the information is relevant to men and women with all types of cancer.

Chances are you will want all of these things at different times. Building a team of caregivers means that you won’t have to depend on just one person. A team of people can take turns with tasks. So think about who would best fill the roles, then ask them.

The people who care about you are likely feeling helpless right now. By asking for their help and giving them a specific job to do, you are actually helping them to feel useful.

Don’t be afraid to be honest about what you want—and what you don’t want, and let them know when you are tired or need some time alone.

Many people find comfort and encouragement from talking with others who share their cancer experience. Here's a list of online resources offered by the American Cancer Society. 

A good resource for young women who are facing breast cancer is the Young Survival Coalition. 

Allegiance Health has just started Lean on Me, a mentorship program that matches newly diagnosed patients with someone who has survived cancer and is willing to lend personal support. For information, call our Patient Navigator at 517-780-7388. We also offers in-person support groups for breast cancer (RENEW - 517-789-5693), prostate cancer (Man to Man - 800-227-2345). Both groups are free and welcome new members at any time.

For many people, the side-effects of cancer treatment include appearance changes that can be difficult to deal with. Some of these changes usually temporary, such as weight loss or gain, swelling of the face, skin irritation or redness, and hair loss. Permanent physical changes, such as loss of a breast or organ, surgical scarring, and swelling due to lymphatic obstructions present even greater challenges.

Chemotherapy drugs are powerful medications that aggressively attack rapidly growing cancer cells. They can also damage healthy cells, such as in the roots of your hair. The resulting hair loss is usually temporary, lasting until several weeks after treatment is completed. The type and dose of chemotherapy you receive will determine whether or not you have hair loss, and some patients will not lose hair at all.

Radiation therapy can also cause hair loss, but only in the area that is being treated. For example, radiation to your head may cause you to lose some or all of the hair on your head, even eyebrows and lashes. But radiation to your breast will not cause hair loss. Your doctor or nurse will be able to tell you what you can expect from your particular treatment.

While hair loss can be a blow to your self-esteem, it will help to have a positive attitude and the support of your friends and family. Many patients gain a sense of control by cutting their hair very short, or even shaving their heads, before the hair loss begins. If you opt to purchase a wig, it is best to do it while you still have all your own hair. That way, you can match your current color and style. Wigs are available in a variety of materials and styles and at all price ranges. See a list of companies that sell wigs and other hair accessories. 

Chemotherapy and radiation treatments may also cause changes to the appearance and texture of your skin, including redness, dryness and irritation. By making adjustments to your regular skincare regimen, you can lessen the effects of these treatments. See suggestions for keeping your skin healthy and comfortable during your cancer treatments.

Visit the American Cancer Society Web site for information related to skin changes specific to radiation therapy. 

Radiation therapy or the surgical removal of lymph glands can cause lymphedema, a build-up of fluids in your body that make an arm or leg to swell and become painful. Symptoms may begin six to eight weeks after surgery or after radiation treatment for cancer, or they can take years to develop. Lymphedema is a lifelong condition, but there are many things you can do to help keep it under control. 

Whatever physical changes you are dealing with related to your cancer and treatment, remember that your feelings and concerns are perfectly normal. You are not being vain to care about your appearance. 

To help you boost your self image during this vulnerable time, it is especially important to surround yourself with positive, supportive people. Ask for help when you need it, and accept help when it is offered. It may be beneficial to talk with others who are facing similar challenges. Ask your health care provider or an Allegiance Health Patient Navigator (517 780-7388) for local or online support groups you can join. 

Allegiance Health offers a free makeover and grooming class for women who are dealing with cancer through the nonprofit organization Look Good … Feel Better. The class includes hands-on instruction on makeup, skin care and nail care and offers suggestions for using wigs, turbans and scarves. Led by licensed cosmetologists who are American Cancer Society volunteers, the class is offered on the third Thursday of every month from 2-4 p.m. at Allegiance Health Radiation Oncology—Tejada Center. Each participant receives a free makeup kit valued at more than $250. Call 1-800-227-2345 to reserve your spot. If you would like to receive a free beauty guide, without the class, click here.

After receiving a cancer diagnosis, the biggest concern for many patients is how to tell their children. This is never an easy conversation, and it’s normal to want to protect your kids from things that will worry them. But not telling them about your cancer can cause them even greater distress. 

Children are very perceptive and can sense when their parents are under stress or something serious is happening within their family. They are bound to overhear pieces of conversations and phone calls, and they may imagine even worse situations. Often, children blame themselves when they feel something is wrong.

Talking honestly with your children gives them an opportunity to express their fears and helps relieve their feelings of guilt. Pick a place where you are not likely to be interrupted and allow enough time for your kids to ask questions. Practicing what you are going to say ahead of time may make you feel more comfortable. Just remember that you don’t have to find the ”perfect” words or cover everything all at once. What your children really want and need is a truthful explanation of what is causing your distress. Click here for some helpful tips.

You might begin by explaining that our bodies are made up trillions of living cells. Normally, the cells grow, divide and die in an orderly fashion. Cancer starts when cells in a part of the body start to grow out of control and can invade other parts of the body. You can point to or tell them where the cancer is in your body and explain that your doctor will be giving you medicine to stop it from growing. 

Deciding how much to tell them will depend on their ages. Younger children will require less detail than those over eight, but all children should be told the basic information, such as:

• The name of the cancer, such as breast cancer or lymphoma
• The part of the body where the cancer is
• How it will be treated
• How their own lives will be affected

That last bullet is a big concern for children of all ages. Assure them that even though you may not be able to spend as much time with them during your treatment, you love them and will make sure they are taken care of. Try to give examples, like who will take them to school or soccer practice. They will feel more confident knowing arrangements are being made for them.

Because feelings of fear and guilt are common among kids of all ages, it’s important for you to address issues they might be afraid to mention. Let them know they did not cause this cancer. Nothing one person thinks, wishes, says, does or doesn’t do can cause another person to get cancer. Assure them that people can't catch cancer like a cold or the flu, so it's OK to hug or kiss someone with cancer. Most importantly, remind them they are loved and that your family will work through this together.

Here's a list books and articles recommended by the University of Michigan to help you talk with your children about cancer.

Watch these pages for more cancer-related blogs.

Recovering from cancer involves both physical and emotional healing. Learning to manage the stress and anxiety can be as important to your body’s ability to fight cancer as your medical treatment. Many patients tell us that dealing with their emotions is the most difficult part of their cancer experience. This was a major consideration in designing Allegiance Health’s Gayle M. Jacob Cancer Center as a physically and emotionally healing environment. It is also central to the care plans developed by our physicians and staff.

Hearing the words “You have cancer” can be overwhelming in itself—flooding you with such feelings as shock, fear, guilt, numbness, confusion and anger. The diagnosis will affect each person differently—not only patients but also their family and friends. And each will deal with these feelings in his or her own way way. 

All the thoughts, fears and worries that may be going though your mind are a normal part of the healing process. It is important that you express these feelings instead of trying to ignore them. The support of those closest to you is critical at this time, and you will likely find it helpful to bring a trusted person with you on your doctor visits. It might also help to talk with other people who have experienced cancer. Ask your doctor or patient navigator if one-on-one support is available and also ask for information on support groups.

Cancer treatment can be lengthy and complex, but it will become part of your routine, and you will get to know and feel comfortable with your care team. During this time, there are many things you can do for yourself to help ensure you get the most from your treatment. These include taking moments in your day to clear your thoughts with mindfulness and meditation, to relax by practicing deep breathing, go for walks and enjoy the fresh air, listen to soothing music, do gentle stretching exercises or write in a journal.

When cancer treatment is completed, it is very common to feel a bit lost and unsure about leaving the safety of a medical setting to face the future on your own. it is also normal to worry that the cancer might return, even if you are feeling healthy. These fears usually lessen over time, but they may not go away entirely. There are, however, ways to help manage your feelings. 

Ask your doctor what you can do to lower your chances for recurrence, be diligent about going to your follow-up visits, continue to make healthy choices regarding food and physical activity. Not only with these things help you maintain your optimum level of health, they may also help you feel more in control of your life. 

While a mix of emotions is normal and expected in those experiencing cancer treatment and follow-up, you can reach a level of distress that is too high. It is important to be aware of warning signs of depression. Remember to stay active and keep connected with friends and family.

Wishing you strength and well-being,
Malcolm Trimble, MD

Watch these pages for my next blog on Nutritional Health and Supplements for Cancer Survivors.